On Leaving and Staying

Some years ago, some people tried to convince me to find work overseas. These people wanted me to become part of the legions of overseas Filipino workers (OFWs) now scattered worldwide.

Another suggestion was for me and my family to apply for migrant status in another country.

I declined both. I could not imagine myself laboring hard in some sweat shop overseas and sending my earnings home for my family’s upkeep. I already knew it was going to be lonely for me and for my family. Maybe I could endure the separation from my family for at least two years before I could renew again a job contract.

But my first consideration was that I wanted to be with my two growing sons. I wanted to be with them when they would seek some help for their school homework. I wanted to be around when they needed my take-it-or-leave-it advice when they would be in trouble. It is painful enough for a child to be growing up without a father, or a mother for that matter. Depriving a child’s need for his or her parents would be tantamount to being orphaned. The dollars that you, as an OFW, would send would not pay for your absence as a mother or father to your child.

Applying for migrant status in another country appeared to be a better option for me and my family. This was especially so because I am family-centered. But I didn’t entertain the suggestion. I couldn’t imagine myself renouncing my Filipino citizenship and becoming a citizen of another country. This, for me, was also renouncing my roots, my cultural heritage, and all my closely-knit clan and kin folk. There’s just no place like home. I just love staying and making life here – despite our country’s leaders who seem at a loss on how to govern us.

But it’s not surprising that three out of ten Filipinos, says a recent reported survey, are willing to take the last plane out and leave the country for good if given the opportunity. That’s 14 million Filipinos. We cannot blame them.

Every political season, politicians would promise us a Garden of Eden. But once they are in power, these politicians fail to deliver. These politicians have made our once glorious country into the mess we are in now. Maybe we have too many politicians. Politicians are the only species in this country that are never in danger of being extinct. Maybe what we need are real governors and managers, not politicians who are good only at grandstanding but who lack vision and the ability to make that vision come true. Good people in government are too few and are becoming extinct species.

We pride ourselves as the only democracy in Southeast Asia. But under our brand of democracy, the justice system does not work as it should be, the rule of law is a farce, and that a few are “more equal” than the rest of us.

Those who leave have their valid reasons. And they cannot be faulted for leaving.

Similarly, the Philippines is one of the densely populated countries in the world and it is just fine if some Filipinos can help inhabit less populated continents such as Canada, Australia and New Zealand.

I also have my reasons in opting to stay put and to stick it out here come typhoon, volcanic eruption, coup threats and impeachment. Life maybe difficult here, but we can still count our blessings. We may have typhoons, but we don’t have cruel winters. We may have less money, but we are happier.

Where in the world can you find children still caring for their parents when they grow old? Only in the Philippines. Elsewhere in the so-called developed world, you have to work hard and invest for your old age because no one will take care of you later. Even love has to be bought in the developed world. That’s why you have to go to a psychotherapist, who charges you fees for pouring out your heart. Not here. We have enough friends, relatives, and elders who can help us out in our psychological and spiritual crises. And they don’t charge us fees. They help us out because they love us. In return, we also return the favor by trying our best to be of help to others. So unlike the Beatles, we don’t have to sing, “I can’t buy me love…”